it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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