Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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