Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
