If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
