Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
