I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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