Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!