You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
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i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad