brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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