____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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