we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
