Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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