Hey man sorry I got all grabby
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
