life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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