mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
