would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
