Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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