saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
