My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i barfeds in our rink
no you cant smoke seaweed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
as a side note pls kill me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
