I think i peed on brittanys purse
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they're like a gay fantastic four
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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