Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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