So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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