i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
