Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
NoShamevember. You game?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
