Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
