every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
