I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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