i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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