so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
