I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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