i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm both gender and math confused
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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