found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
