Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
