My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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