i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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