my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
