omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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