Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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