Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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