How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
