guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize