dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
