so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
