u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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