theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
