You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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