Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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