He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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