found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
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It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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