Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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