I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
