what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
only you would photoshop your dick
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
