well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
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I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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