all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
