Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
