is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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