Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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